The lifeline for any person is family; where life begins and love never ends. The greatest strength for human existence gives purpose to customs and traditions for meaningful living. With the co-existing family system, the basic principle is redefined and emerged as an independent family, nuclear family and extended family. Though, the word family carries in all types of a family system. This shows we are united in the name of family and departed in the name of so-called freedom.
With the economic revolution, the need for an individual has changed drastically and started considering economic independence as real independence. Parents are career-oriented, children are desire oriented, siblings are target-oriented, aunties and uncles are theme-oriented, in-laws are dream oriented and grandparents are family-oriented. Within the family, each one’s aspiration is different and nowhere the attachment is established. They are poles apart.
Ironically we say living together within the same roof is a family. The recent incident on family counselling was an eye-opener for the current family system. The incident is pretty interesting as all the family members are working i.e both parents and children. They live independently and nowhere they are dependent on each other. The real reason for being together is the norms of society and the advantage of using pooled resources within the house.
They have their timings to walk–in and walk–out of the house, blame each other for their pains and past life incidents, comparison on materialistic benefits, favoritism for one and being partial to others, communication through WhatsApp and meeting in common functions. The highest form is that they considered each as an independent family. They don’t have any common topics to discuss and looked each down for the reasons best known to them only. There are few parents and children drifted away from the word family due to unhealed psychological and emotional pains. Still, they feel part of their family and ensure it in records.
The materialistic need for an individual has changed and will continue to change forever. We haven’t changed in our primitive needs of love and affection. Somewhere, in the corner of our mind, we long for someone to understand us, feel our pains, emphathize our situations, help out in crisis and travel with us for a lifetime.
Everybody makes mistake and repeats it at some point in time. Within the family, we tend to pile upon things, continue judging for a single mistake, compare with siblings, relations, and neighbors, pass filthy comments in the name of warning, and eventually started hating that person for whatever he does. Instead of sorting out the real issues they are talking about the past and holding onto it. Moving on from the past and living in the present would help to repair the damages and take learnings from history.
However, anyone in the mind consciously says that I need my family to understand and support me in tough times and showers me with love and care unconditionally for a healthy living. That’s the power of the word family. Unfortunately, hardly anyone in the family takes that first step towards sorting out the differences. Everyone wants someone to take that initiative. It’s just a matter of Me to be in We. What you heal in yourself, you heal in your family line. Heal the pain to reveal love.
Chellam Narendiran
+91 – 98433 14949
Srijan Counselling Services
#happymind #happylife
Heal The Pain To Reveal Love
