The bonding factor for human existence is love and affection. Love rules the heart and mind. Relationship rules the people and people rules the relationship. In either way, rules dominate the people in a relationship instead of understanding and caring for each other. Emotions and feelings are the by product of any relationship. Relationships are well managed when people understand that each individual is unique and brought together for a purpose than been dictated by one’s whims and fancies.
The present generation children see relationship as a status quo. It’s a must to have a boy friend or a girl friend and they see it as their birth right. Being in a relationship is not a crime. Not having a boy friend or a girl friend is seen as an offence. Such is the pitiable state of our children.
Recently, had an opportunity to interact with higher secondary class students. Have asked to share their concerns that disturb their mind to deviate from studies. Few common concerns shared are academic performance, personality identity, behavior, peer pressure, drugs, family & parental issues and mobile. Surprisingly, two major concerns that dominate their list are relationship and need to be in a relationship.
When the major focus has to be on studies but their core concerns are only on relationship and managing it. This made me to think and throw a direct question, why they wanted to be in a relationship. Shocking answers came as a response. Because my friend has one, most of my classmates have a boy / girl friend. They share their talks, enjoy going out, some one gives care, listening ears and dream together. Not sure whether it’s right or wrong. I see it as right because all my friends are in a relationship and they see me down, if am not the one. Our parents don’t interact with us. They are busy with their work and life. Hardly have they spent time for us, always asking us to study, tuition after tuition, comparing with others, yelling over small matters, not seeing us as an individual person, parental fights and so on.
We are caught between parents, friends, society and academic pressure. No one understands our emotions and feelings. We are also humans with the rights to share our views, do activities which are of our interest, follow our passion, explore new things, learn from mistakes and most importantly live our life. They can guide us when we go wrong, ready to take their suggestions when it sounds logical and let them lead us by example rather than putting rules and regulations.
I could hear their pain and makes absolute sense of it. Every parent says to their child, we are toiling day in and day out for your future. We are dreaming on behalf of you and wanted your dreams to come true. We live for you. You are our life. Is your child able to feel and see it? Is your child able to reciprocate the same? Is your child really happy?
When comes to children, Are you able to see or feel your parents unconditional love and affection? Are you able to see your parents suffering and sleepless night to pay your bills and fees? Are your parents really happy having you as a child?
The answers are left for individual’s response. It’s time to ponder your thoughts and feelings for each other.
Both parents and children have love, affection and care for each other. Then where did the connect got missed…
Chellam Narendiran
#HappyMind #HappyLife
Srijan Counselling Services
+91 – 98433 14949
Love And Care Is There, But Why The Despair
